Monday, October 15, 2012

Md Anderson blog

Dealing with the loss of a loved one

     Unfortunately, I have alot of experience with this.  Most of them to Cancer.  The one thing that you need to remember is the person is out of pain and will never feel it again.  It is heartbreaking, but every cloud has a silver lining even if you can't see it because you are blinded by grief.  But rest assured it is there.  God doesn't give us more than we can handle, and if it is too much for us to bear he will put people we can lean on in those times to help us through the loss.  These can be in the form of friends, family, or even a stranger that says a kind word.  I remember I had people all around the country praying for me.  A church in Arkansas (I don't know even 1 person that has EVER lived there) sent me a quilt.  It was one of the bad days and the quilt really helped me.
     There are some things you should never say to person that is in the throes of grief.  The worst thing I have ever heard is when a woman suffered the loss of her baby to S.I.D.S some person said to her , "At least you hadn't gotten attached and you can replace her."  UGH How awful and uncaring and how bout NO TACT.  Just know that nothing you can say will ease their hurt. Above all THINK before you speak!!!  Grief is a natural process and it IS a process.  The stages are (not necessarily in this order) Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
     Death is taboo because it forces us to understand that we ourselves are mortal.  Different cultures have different rituals to honor the dead.  Learn about the culture before you try to say anything.  Find out what religion they are as well.  Even the most well meaning person can get snapped at if they say something at the wrong time.  If you don't know what to say Don't say anything at all.  Just be there for them, sometimes that is the most helpful thing you can do.  Just sit with them in silence. In general people are confused and scared to face the reality that the same fate awaits each and every one of us.  Everyone's' grief experience is different.

This blog is dedicated to the memory of Lori Brasington.  A tragic victim of cervical cancer.  Please pray for her family and friends to get through this horrible time of loss and pain.

This is a good song to listen to during the grieving process
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdGnQm43yHg

Friday, October 12, 2012

How I dealt with chemo and radiation

Hello all!!! HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!  We are just gearing up for our trip since we missed out on the honeymoon phase of our relationship.  We are flying to Barcelona for 2 days, then boarding a ship and sailing to Fla.  WOOHOO!!
     Anyhow, last night I was thinking about my actions and I was filled with DEEP regret.  With my brain surgery it destroyed my impulse control.  I hurt alot of people and for that I am sorry.  One of my deepest regrets is the fact that I called out a very private person that was so sweet to me during our time together.  I am still not over that I think about her almost everyday, I wonder how she is doing knowing full well that I will NEVER hear from her again and that depresses me.
    But regrets aside, I was asked last night how to deal with the effects of chemotherapy.  My chemo was oral and it was cake I had the same symptoms (Cause it is still poison) but they weren't nearly as severe.  But here is what I did.  REST REST REST, eat ANYTHING that will stay down, when you lose your sense of taste and smell (with radiation for me) get the yummiest thing out there for me it was Jamba Juice peanut butter chocolate shake.  If you start losing weight (very common) drink ensure it comes in many flavors and tastes like a homemade milkshake.  If I never see another ensure it will be too soon, but I they played a major part in keeping me alive.  By eat anything that will stay down, I mean anything, for me it was gummy bears (thanks Paul!!).
     Chemo and radiation play hell on your teeth I had to have 4 root canals (Thank God for dental insurance).  Dry mouth is a big pain as well, I found that Biotene works wonders.  It tastes like crap but it will keep your saliva going during the night.
    Also keeping protein up is a big thing protein bars (again worry about your life not your teeth).  There are vitamins and herbal supplements, I started drinking herbal tea, Jasmine tea with honey (I add an extra teaspoon of honey) It will help you sleep.
   Well have a great weekend!!! Hope this helps!!!
    

Thursday, October 4, 2012

     It is normal to have sporadic symptoms when you are aware of an MRI coming up.  Last night I had a headache so bad that it woke me up.  I freaked and then thought logically about it.  It was just my stress about the upcoming MRI.  They have been good thusfar and I am confident it will be good again.  Especially since Mike and I are going on a 19 day vacation to make up for our having skipped the honeymoon phase of our marriage.

http://www2.mdanderson.org/cancerwise/2012/10/brain-cancer-couldnt-stop-me-from-dancing.html