Friday, August 26, 2011

what helps

During my journey I have several helpful things.  The first one, my friend Paul (6 times cancer survivor) he told me I had to make "friends" with my tumor.  I did and I named her Snarla, now I call her my homicidal child. 
Second: get a full body massage.  Cancer is STRESSFUL so get those knots worked out.  I just got back from a massage and I realize not that I should have done it WAY earlier.  I had like 80 knots (no exaggeration). George said I needed it badly.

 Keep your mind and body busy.  I do danceaton and poker.  DON'T withdraw from society.  I know that is the easiest thing to do.  Cancer makes you depressed as hell and if you let it get you you're gonna shave time off your life.  Find something you love to do and do that.  When you get bored try out new things.  You never know what you like if you don't try.

 Cancer is an eye opening and heartbreaking experience.  As I've said before none cancery people just don't understand that we have to come to terms with our death.  They will tell you that we are all gonna die, I might get hit by a bus tomorrow, I could have a heart attack later today blah blah blah.  They are saying it with the BEST intentions but they DO NOT understand what it is to accept you fate.  Even cancer patients are not all at the acceptance stage.  Hell I am in now way accepting because once you accept it that means you've given up the fight.  I have come terms with what will happen everyone says it won't, but I go by what the doctor says.  That Snarla will come back it is just a matter of time.

I reconnected with an old friend a few weeks ago. I love him and he is my Rome Rock.  He told me he went to Dads house to tell him that I have his support.  Dad never told me.  But I guess he thought I didn't need to know.  Ummm tip, when someone gives support for your loved one with cancer NEVER hold it back.  I didn't even know that he knew about my illness.  I was trying desperately to get back in touch with him.  But I guess I cannot hold it against my father. 

 Also let go of grudges they are petty and not worth taking to your grave.  You will be much less stressed if you learn to forgive.  Benton Nelson taught me that and he gave me a card that I carry with me all the time to remember to forgive people.  Most of them will misunderstand you telling your story for begging for sympathy.  However it is super cathartic to tell people about it and they in turn will tell you if they know someone in your situation or close to it.  I have met people with relatives that have brain, breast, and colon.  YOU can be a resource for these scared families.  Because make NO mistake Cancer is FUCKING SCARY.  It is like the monster under the bed that your parents could never find.  It is always lurking in the shadows.  So if someone is hateful to you about your story (probably won't happen) just think of the fear.  Cancer doesn't discriminate in age, race, gender, religious views. 

I am not trying to be the big bad wolf here but.... Don't Take Life For Granted!!!!!