Monday, August 30, 2010

New View

Hello again to all of you that are following me,

So Michael and I were discussing what is different from before the surgery: here is what we came up with

The night terrors are GONE, bye-bye, poof

I no longer wake up in the middle of the night screaming or crying or striking out viciously  as if to ward of some unseen assailant.  Gone are the nights of nightmares about my previous life before the surgery. While Snarla was a resident she gave me night terrors I believe they started '01.  You see actually '01 she (Snarla) started to grow which in turn started to affect me and my behavior.  But it was so so slow growing and  such subtle changes that doctors misdiagnosed me with all sorts of different psychiatric disorder however 1 single thing was consistent: ADHD SEVERE HYPERACTIVTY.  Why did they not do an MRI?  Because I had one....when I was 8. 

Instead of shying away from touch I appreciate it.
Those two things have majorly changed my life and outlook on life. I have been reading Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, World Renowned Thanatologist (Expert on the dying process) she states a dying person needs touch to stay alive to give them a reason to fight like hell to survive.  It is a fact that infants need to hear their mother breathing and caring touch to grow into a happy, mentally healthy child.  I am warming up to hugging and being hugged in return.

     I like finding out peoples life stories and learning from them. I enjoy putting those lessons to work.

I will never forget this: There was a  Jamaican Nurse while I was at MD ANDERSON, she was on nights.  She was my favorite nurse because she reached out to me like none of the other nurses did.

For example: one night she heard me crying, I did not call her, she came in anyway  just to see what was going on,and if there was anything wrong.  There was a guy on HOUSE having a seizure and I was bawling because I know exactly how painful that type of seizure is. It frightened me to my very core.  She comforted  me and stayed with me until I calmed down; which was was a considerable amt of time for a nurse to stay with a patient.  She told me stories, which I  partly learned to speak from.  She spoke about how lucky I am to have Michael. She spoke of her home and her kids and all about her life. I, as a patient was honored that she chose to share this information with me. Mind you, this stay was over Thanksgiving so she was on duty and missed thanksgiving dinner with her family. That Thanksgiving I was thankful to have her to lean on.

People in hospitals need to take a step out of their roles as doctors and nurses to be sympathetic or empathetic to the patient. That is what Nurse Jamaica did even visitors were allowed and especially when no visitors were allowed.

I am planning to put everything that I have learned through cancer and my whole life toward hospice or hospital patients.