Let me tell you a story: A woman just getti ng back from speech therapy. she is completely BUCK NAKED when she goes and looks thru the peep hole. I though it was Jenni Lomberdi a memeber of our church. So she runs upstairs frintic to find something to put on eventually she chose a bathing suit cover. As she hurried back downstairs her dogs going APE she threw them outside and after a scurry checked the peephole agin just 2 old women. I opened the door and asked "Are you jenni lomebardi?" she replied , "we are jehovas witnesses."
FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE Those people knocked on my door and there is baptist church down the road and it is a very jewish neighborhood and there is a MONK and buddhist temple next door.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Grey Matters
child hood. trauma emotional scarring that never heals btw...and that 5 yr old grew up to have brain cancer. My luck I will go into remission then die from a bird flying into my head at full speed. I have decided firmly that 10% of the profit on ANY of my art goes to Grey Matters. My support group. Feel free to donate.
may 2010
Shrink says Stop feeling like a victim.
I now garden and paint.
Can't go back to the state and I knew that the minute they said abnormal mri that it was not only malignant but what grandmama and ches have.
Its 2010i just went through radiation and my next mri is this saturday. 6/1/10 is the appt To go over the results.
And check my peripheral vision clear to drive?
I went for the test to tell where I am mentally. They are going to let my brain 12-18 mos until we can really say I'm in remission.
I had an auditory halucination i heard mike say She Is Dead. My pt is I was frozen in fear for a second before i woke up scared as hades. I realized I need to get my driving priviliges and go out. even if my radius is 5 miles.
I now garden and paint.
Can't go back to the state and I knew that the minute they said abnormal mri that it was not only malignant but what grandmama and ches have.
Its 2010i just went through radiation and my next mri is this saturday. 6/1/10 is the appt To go over the results.
And check my peripheral vision clear to drive?
I went for the test to tell where I am mentally. They are going to let my brain 12-18 mos until we can really say I'm in remission.
I had an auditory halucination i heard mike say She Is Dead. My pt is I was frozen in fear for a second before i woke up scared as hades. I realized I need to get my driving priviliges and go out. even if my radius is 5 miles.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
everything
Let me tell you if you do not like LONG blogs leave now.
this sux yeah i;m not denying it...
My shrink said to me STOP BEING A VICTIM because I was OBSESSED with death. Any way I was fuming at her but she was right. Couple days later while pulling weeds (Oliver that is how I am getting better physically.
She also said not eating is pseudosuicide. I AM N O T MY MOTHER. This Tumor will rip me physically limb from limb but I would not do anything to consciosly hurt myself.
Mike introduced me to protein bars. wherever you see me you can guaranteed protein bar is not far be hind.
I find my days slipping by happily thanks to the park . I am Using the meditation techniqe the Monk across the street taught me.
Painting when it is rainy at park if it is a pretty day. physically i find I find I am slowly becoming more coordinated. I can dance like move my feet real fast and not fall down.left over right vice versa.
btw My hair is growing back it is not growing wher the plate is but everywhere else.
this sux yeah i;m not denying it...
My shrink said to me STOP BEING A VICTIM because I was OBSESSED with death. Any way I was fuming at her but she was right. Couple days later while pulling weeds (Oliver that is how I am getting better physically.
She also said not eating is pseudosuicide. I AM N O T MY MOTHER. This Tumor will rip me physically limb from limb but I would not do anything to consciosly hurt myself.
Mike introduced me to protein bars. wherever you see me you can guaranteed protein bar is not far be hind.
I find my days slipping by happily thanks to the park . I am Using the meditation techniqe the Monk across the street taught me.
Painting when it is rainy at park if it is a pretty day. physically i find I find I am slowly becoming more coordinated. I can dance like move my feet real fast and not fall down.left over right vice versa.
btw My hair is growing back it is not growing wher the plate is but everywhere else.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
ePIPHANY / REMEMBERING
so you need to know me and a wee bit of background, I talk about Death ALL THE TIME! Not kidding and I know how to turn ANY convo to about death.
One day a person from my supprt group gave me pam abernathy s # I called and we set up an apppt mike qwent witgh me she told me flatly in front of mike Her precise words were:"stop making yourself a victim." stop obsesssing about death it is gonna happpen to us all and we are living onb the other hand you are walking dead. I was mad at her of course and I did not think she was nice but it took me about a week and I stopped being mad and started to think. stop obsessing about death and obsess how I am gonnna get through this and on to the next hurdle. I felt like a weight was lifted
Holy crap I have been at the park since 11 am and it is now 6pm. Time for meds and bed. My other goal is to wear myself out every day. I want my muscles back they've atrophied badly so I garden and paint since I cannot get to the gym and since I can't drive I take my dogs to the park on the corner. I met pastor Jeremy he was nice and gave me free reign. SCORE!!!!!!!!!
I can paint while the dogs run around. YAY
One day a person from my supprt group gave me pam abernathy s # I called and we set up an apppt mike qwent witgh me she told me flatly in front of mike Her precise words were:"stop making yourself a victim." stop obsesssing about death it is gonna happpen to us all and we are living onb the other hand you are walking dead. I was mad at her of course and I did not think she was nice but it took me about a week and I stopped being mad and started to think. stop obsessing about death and obsess how I am gonnna get through this and on to the next hurdle. I felt like a weight was lifted
Holy crap I have been at the park since 11 am and it is now 6pm. Time for meds and bed. My other goal is to wear myself out every day. I want my muscles back they've atrophied badly so I garden and paint since I cannot get to the gym and since I can't drive I take my dogs to the park on the corner. I met pastor Jeremy he was nice and gave me free reign. SCORE!!!!!!!!!
I can paint while the dogs run around. YAY
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