Okay ypu may not like or be able to read through LONG blogs but suck it up for this one peeps. Cancer is like looking death in the eye beating cancer cancer islike poking death in the eye and walking away.
That being said
When you stare down the barrel of a loaded gun (happened when gas station was robbed and I was alone about 8 years ago) makes you want to pee your pants hit the deck and beg for mercy. I just hit the deck and did one of the prior actions...what I was 18 and being robbed..AT GUNPOINT.
Anyway I have to get this out:
I have always believed in this but never so strongly as right now. It is not that I believe in God or Buddha or Gods but I do believe in FAITH. I believe that every single life here has a purpose and when you fulifill your purpose you die. Even babues that die fulfill their purpose of eliciting feeling from the mother or father or doctor or purposes may not be figured out ....ever but they are there. Everyone that I can think that has died has served a purpose none of us are here to be wasted EVER. Your purpose may be as simple as giving someone else a smile or talking to someone and delaying them so they don't get hit by a bus or omething like that.
I know most of you have checked out of this blog by thi point but for those of you that are still here I want to tell you FAITH FAITH FAITH in god, yourself, your huband, others prayers, jut faith and pure belief can change your life and others.
I really think the whole world is one big ticking mechanical machine or mechanism, in my belief the number of souls or whatever we and all life is is finite. When one dies another is born to change the world in some other way maybe to drive the faith of other people. Maybe to be the ONE case that can save the lives of many others. To sacrifice yourself to avoid pain is not good to sacrifice yourself to save millions very honorable, to live your life as hard as you can and tell everyone about it so they can try the same thing...amazing life changing world bending. You may think I am off my rocker or on happy juice thats fine (I'm not by the way).
One last thing
Fear is good it lets you know you are human and you want to live; once you no longer fear you have succumbed, I don't care what Kubler Ross' says (she was awesome and genius btw). Fear is good keep it but DON'T let it control you. So Stare down the barrel of that loaded gun and pee yourself if you must then think about how others can benefit from YOUR experience. Don't be skimpy TELL people about it. they may not immediately care but one day they may realize you served a purpose for them.